to be brilliant…
Ugh.
Studying. My eyelids feel like they are swollen but I’m not stoned and I slept until 10am, so no excuses. Midterm on Monday and I’ll hate myself if I do badly. Math is the number one most horrifying aspect of my life these days. Fear of failure generally in my life stems from high school math classes. Math has always been the one thing I’m “bad” at. Now I tell myself it’s not that I’m bad at it, it’s that I never tried…so here I am, “trying”… but I would do anything to be writing an essay instead of doing calculations. Oh, lovely essays, I miss you.
Remembrance Day makes me feel guilty. Unappreciative. It is not that I don’t appreciate…what, people giving their lives for my freedom?…but it’s just such an incredible thing to be grateful for that I couldn’t possibly be grateful enough, so then I resort to feeling guilty.
Okay. Studying.
